Why Do We Congregate?

Rev. Abhi Janamanchi

April 29, 2007

Garrison Keillor pokes fun at Unitarians in this fictional letter to an advice columnist.

The letter reads:

“Dear Mr. Blue,

I'm a sportswriter from California, now living in the Midwest. My once-happy social life has hit a losing streak. There was the recent divorcee who sent me dirty e-mails after our first date, and called me "Baby" on our second. There was the lanky Russian emigrant turned redneck. There was the voluptuous bartender who jumped me on our first date. What's to be done? Move back West? Quit dating? (signed) Gathering Dust”

The response: “Dear Gathering,

You are hanging out in the wrong place, like a sports bar with giant-screen TV and free stale popcorn. You have encountered a covey of aggressively needy women who throw themselves at men in order to distract them from the Bears game. Try a new location, like the Unitarian church. Not a redneck in the bunch. Unitarian women are sexy but incredibly thoughtful and sensitive and also passionate about ethics. They won't try to jump you on the first date; they'll want to know how you feel about economic justice first. They are not voluptuous because they often fast in protest of something or other. When not fasting, they eat things made from tofu and exotic mushrooms. You will need to learn to folk dance and sit through lectures on American foreign policy by speakers from third world countries, but this is a small price to pay for happiness. If you can't find [the] Unitarians, try Methodists. They're Unitarians trying to pass for Christian.”

This morning I want to raise some questions about our faith movement: Why do people join a UU congregation? What is the purpose of a religious community, a liberal religious community such as this one (aside from what Garrison Keillor says about us being a good place for needy, single men to find good women)? Are Unitarian Universalist communities meeting human needs for “belonging”? And, what are the meaning, purpose, and relevance of Unitarian Universalism?

Over the years, I have heard people who have joined this congregation say that they joined UUC to find sanctuary; or to find a family; to affirm a personal identity; or to be part of a community whose members share in the responsibilities of both priesthood and prophethood. Some say they are here because they wanted a community that valued their spiritual searching and questioning. Others came because they wanted a church where they weren’t told that their beliefs were wrong because they were not in the scriptures; or because they weren’t told that they were going to hell because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Some others joined because they wanted to be part of a faith community. Others came here because they wanted a religion that gave them the freedom to articulate their doubts as well as their beliefs and not be told what to believe. Some others are here because they wanted a religion that would help them teach their children that they are good, that life is worth living, and that there is no “celestial peeping Tom” out to get them.

Others came because they wanted a place that would inspire them, comfort them, nurture them, and challenge them to be the best that they were called to be as human beings. Or, perhaps they were birth-right Unitarian Universalists who were seeking a nurturing religious home for their own children. Or perhaps they are one of those “cultural creatives,” people who desire “authenticity, careful consumption, arts and culture, home as a nest, experiential consumption, systems and holistic views” as defined by authors Paul Ray and Sherry Anderson. Whatever the reason, people came here or to another UU congregation and joined and stayed without coercion, out of their own free will.

Despite all these and other wonderful reasons that bring people to our churches and inspire them to join, we, as a movement, are pretty much stagnant, if not growing at a minuscule rate of less than one percent per year. Yesterday, during one of the workshops on change, Rev. Kenn Hurto pointed out that there are roughly 5048 UUs in the FL district, a number that has remained pretty much stagnant for some years. 5000 people in the fourth largest state in our nation, a state that attracts thousands of people each year – that’s very disappointing!

In fact, our growth has never matched the rate of the growth of the nation’s population as a whole.

Why are we not growing? There are many reasons but I will try to outline just a few^[1].

1. We are a low-expectation faith. We don’t ask of our members to give generously of their time, energy, and resources with passion and commitment in service of the life-enhancing, life saving message of Unitarian Universalism. We don’t instill in people a sense of belonging to a faith community that transcends the Sunday morning topic or speaker. If we are to succeed in motivating all those good folks who come searching for a liberal religious home to join and be active, we need to raise the bar of expectation for membership. We need to convey to them that membership means being willing to shoulder a fair share of the responsibility to create and sustain a beloved community.

 

2. We try to be all things for all people. We try to avoid conflict and dissent, go to great lengths to avoid criticism, try to keep everyone happy, and keep to the moderate middle by trying nothing too extreme. That is how we sometimes see our commitment to diversity and welcoming the stranger. Hospitality is an ancient religious virtue that is worth practicing in our communities but we need to do so from a deeper understanding of what our mission is in this world, a world torn apart by sectarian violence and xenophobic fears. We need to admit to our limitations and recognize that welcoming the stranger into our midst is not only an act of courage and faith but, at times, is a painful yet transformative experience that calls us to confront and deal with our inner fears, prejudices, and presuppositions.

 

3. We don’t have a clear sense of the role, relevance, and impact of religious communities in today’s consumer oriented society. There are, it seems to me, two profoundly different ways of understanding and apprizing the religious enterprise today. Treated as “service providers,” churches, mosques, synagogues, and temples must be judged by the same criteria as other institutions in society’s highly competitive service sector. In a market-driven system, religious institutions exist to sell a product, to deliver the goods, to fill a particular market niche, to satisfy customer demand. If they are to remain viable in the face of stiff competition from the leisure and entertainment industries, they must be adaptable, efficient, and user-friendly. Successful churches will be those that have come to terms with consumerist culture, learned to play by the market’s rules and can whole-heartedly embrace its “fee for services” philosophy.

 

But this isn’t the only, or the preferred way to understand the religious institution in today’s world. I will concede that religious institutions must make at least a few allowances for the consumerist culture in which they operate. But I also believe that one of their main purposes is to provide an alternative to and a respite from a commodified, market-managed existence and help people see beyond their personal wants and needs.